Parking Spot Wars

I arrived home safely, thank God, after a long day’s work. I had to deal with the absolute idiocy of the drivers in St. Louis who just drift through this thing called life all other hours of the day except for rush hour. During this time, it’s like they are violently jolted away and in an otherwise feeble attempt to gather their bearings, they mash on the accelerators. They speed up and without warning slam on their brakes. I wonder if in the pinball games called their lives, if they score extra points for slamming all of the stuff from the backseat of their cars to the front.

These are the moments when the true meaning of “the apple does not fall far from the tree” is most applicable for I have road rage. I’ve come a long way from the Formula One days ha. What can I say? Rome wasn’t built in a day. Wink.

So…I made it home…again, emphasis on the thankfully…and I get ready to back into the parking spot at my residence. Typical maneuver I do every day when I get off. I pull up, check the mirrors, put the car in reverse and back into my spot and get out. But today—it was different. Steps 1-3.5 I completed with no issues.


Therein laid the silent perpetrator that would abruptly and rudely infiltrate my favorite part of the song…

♪You’re out of shape/my mind run a mile a minute/ The sky’s the limit/ I’m so high, I’m diving in it/ My ride is tinted…

Now, most of us saw Kings of Comedy so we all know the part that Cedric the Entertainer talks about when you have to turn the music down when you’re driving just to park or get directions. Okay hold up. I park here every day. This isn’t new to me and neither is the car next to me that has decided to pull into the spot crooked and closer than is “legal” to the line.

It is the most disturbing thing when someone talks to you and you spend your time thinking that maybe you are stupid or bit slow/off with your thinking when you try to make sense of something that is pure buffoonery…I’m in the equivalent situation…me and my Honda…Bonnie and Clyde…lmbo.

I know I’m not the only one. It’s annoying (not the mess up your day kind, but urk you like for real for real kind) when someone parks over the line or crooked because it makes you think that maybe you pulled into the spot wrong or backed into it crooked…even though you pulled up perfectly…maybe you did subconsciously turn the steering wheel just a little. I mean you do this every day…even player’s mess up. Nope, it’s not you. It’s the happy-go-lucky individual driving the red Grand Am that parked over the line and thought nothing of it…or maybe he did, but he had to hurry up and get inside before he had a Somethin’ Flavor of Love moment.


Attention all no parking citizens of America—one day you’re going to come to your car and it’s going to have a big stupid dent in it or long scratch from a car door that is older than you are…Thanks Madea in advance. 🙂



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