Father’s Day—it’s a day that I do not recognize as a holiday. Matter of fact, I call my mother every year to wish her a “Happy Father’s Day.” This year I did not—not because she doesn’t deserve to be called and honored on this day with flowers, cards, etc, but because I delved a bit deeper within myself this year.
Why do is father’s day preceded by “happy” when I call my mother? While there were many happy moments that I experienced with my mother growing up, it was difficult to say the least for her to have to raise 5 children on her own without any help least of all from the human being who provided the sperm. There were many nights when my mother sat up crying and praying…praying and crying. Life was not easy for her and while she made a conscious decision to my siblings and me, no woman embarks on the journey of motherhood expecting to do it alone. So what word should be my opening liner when calling my mother to thank her for her unrelenting perseverance in light of sibling rivalries, arguments, and words shouted out of anger, tears of sorrow, etc when the list could go on and on if I wanted it to???
Commercial Break: Shout out to all of the real fathers out there who have been there with their wives, girlfriends and mothers of their children during the rearing years. You think before you speak to your women because the last thing you want to do—regardless of whether or not you and she work out—is disrespect her. I mean she is after all the mother of your child. Big shout to these same fathers who teach their sons what it means to be a man—to hustle and provide for your family. You teach your sons to go to school and pick a profession or start your own business. You teach your sons that nothing in life comes easy—you have to work for everything you want in life, including the heart and affection of a woman. You earn what you want and you learn to appreciate it so much more. You teach your son how to respect a woman and treat her like a lady by respecting his mother and you teach your daughter to expect respect from a man by respecting her mother. You teach your daughter that a man should always walk on the outside of her when walking down the street and that he should always open the door for her and pull out her chair. You teach her to ignore the cat-calling and whistling of any male. No real man looking for a wife finds her by behaving in such a way. A real man runs up, asks to talk to her for a minute and introduces himself. You teach your daughter that daddy knows best. While no man will ever be good enough for your daughter, you put her on game and you recognize when a young man is wholly and totally committed to her. Real fathers take the time to build relationships with their children. Work is necessary to keep the lights on and food on the table, but juggling the entire father role takes some mastering…but like work, he is dedicated. A father is 100% devoted to his family and teaches his children the most important lesson in life—to appreciate everything life and take nothing for granted. It’s not the appreciation for what you had once it is gone that is damaging, but the reality that you knew what you had and didn’t appreciate it upfront that kills. You never thought that you would ever be without it that is the eye-opener. Big ups to all you fathers out there holding it down and making a difference. Double fist pumps for the fathers out there playing both roles—mother and father. 🙂
Now back to the regularly scheduled program already in session: This year I decided to do something a little different. In fact, this will be the only time I will ever do this in my life. #NoLOL I’m taking time out to thank the individual who helped bring me into existence. There used to be a time when if I was given the opportunities that Harry Potter was, I would have banished him to some underworld. But that’s not me today. I’ve long since accepted the fact that you aren’t shit and never will be; however, there are some things that you taught me that were right for lack of a better word. As I spend more and more time delving into the dynamics of the LeBlanc side of the family, I am thankful for my upbringing in this regard. You instilled in each of us that you ride or die for your family. No matter how much my sisters and brother and I may get into it—less now that are becoming older—at the end of the day none of that matters and it all goes out of the window. At that very moment, we’re suiting up to kick ass…even if it’s someone who we all care about.
My temper—I get that from you and while I’m working on having a 100% firm grasp on that I’m thankful for it. I don’t take shit from anyone or anything. You taught me that rules can be broken and should be broken/amended when the rules are detrimental those involved and whom it affects. There is no sense in forcing a square peg into a round hole when you can cut the hole into the shape of a square. It may be hard to do that at first, but if you keep at it, eventually it will give way.
You raised me to always to be a fixer. I’m the oldest and it’s my responsibility to make sure that nothing happens when I’m around. It taught me to be responsible and as much as I hate to admit it, I know that no man is an island. It doesn’t matter what needs to be done or what kind of trouble may be going on with one of my siblings or even my mother for that matter. I always find a way to get things done even if I am borders away…and it’s nothing for me to hop in my car and drive there or take a flight. Family trumps everything that can be touched or seen. I am learning though that sometimes you have to let go and let God and that in itself has been a tough pill to swallow. I’m a take action kind of girl, but with all things moderation is key and so is the wisdom to know when you have done all you can do.
Lastly, thank you for being you—all of you. As a result, I’m able to appreciate “him.” No elaboration needed here. Over 90% of communication is non-verbal.
And…since I couldn’t find a fitting word to place before “father’s day”…Mom—Happy Parent’s Day! Muah!!!!
The Musings of a Beautiful Mess 